niceguypose | Overflow Post [Cerealia]

[ you don't want that, lee, otherwise dipper will probably call you 'crying eyebyrows guy'... ]

Uh...sure, okay. You got it.

[He nods.]

I am glad to hear that. But I should tell you just one more thing. ...I know your secret. And I will treat you respectfully. [he can't imagine what it's like to be afflicted with a condition such as 'dumb butt'.]

[ wait, what? ]

What? What secret do you know about?

[ what did he know??? there were so many ways this could go poorly for dipper, if people knew his secrets and he didn't know it... ]

[Lee stares for a moment seriously. Then, before he releases Dipper from his hold, he leans in and whispers to him discreetly.]

I know about your butt.

[ uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

actually? he should have trusted his gut instinct and run away from this guy as soon as he was out of the tree. ]

...Come again.

I... I am sorry for speaking it aloud if you would rather not face it.

[He goes on in a whisper that is louder that he thinks.]

But... it is better that I tell about it upfront this time around. Ever since I first talked with your sister, I knew it. That... you are afflicted with that condition known as "dumb butt".

[A single tear rolls down Rock Lee's cheek.]

You must be... so brave!!

[ ... ]

[ oh my god mabel why ]

[ with a sigh; ] Yeah, it's truly a marvel how I even go on.

[ with mabel telling people things like this, rather. he is already plotting his swift revenge. ]

[Determined nod.]

If you ever need me... I am here for you, young man!!

...Right. I'll just - bear that in mind.

[ no, really, mabel is going to get the comeuppance of a life time later. COMEUPPANCE, I SAY. ]

Are you sure you're the only person she told this to?

[He looks on solemnly.]

I cannot be sure. I believe that I'm her most trusted confidant, but... there could easily be others. Mabel-chan has many friends in the colony.

Uh, pretty sure I'm her most trusted confidant. [ if lee held that position while dipper was not...around (and really mabel, he needs to talk to you about your taste in friends if so), then he's been usurped now!! or rather, dipper has retaken his rightful place. it is his right as twin brother. ]

I guess I'll have to check with her, then.

I apologize!! I meant, outside of dear family!

I hope that this does not endanger our bond as young men..!

[ he should let it endanger it. it should be endangered!

but...despite how utterly awkward this entire encounter has been, dipper can't be that big of a jerk. not with how earnest this rock lee guy is. and if mabel really trusts him... ]

It's okay, man. Just...keep the 'dumb butt' thing on the down-low, okay? She was kidding, by the way. That's not actually...a thing that I have.

[ hopefully mabel didn't tell lee about dipper's sweating problem. ]

[He nods.]

Don't worry, Dipper-kun. I will act as if I never heard such a thing. [He gets your drift, Dipper. And he will keep your secret safe.]

[ he's not so sure lee gets it, buuut as long as he doesn't go around spreading around some kind of dumb, untrue rumor... ]

Right. Thanks. Uh - I better go find Mabel now.

[ and wow, give her the noogie of the century probably. ]

[He nods and weeps.]

Yes... go bravely into the night, Dipper-kun!! And both of you look out for each other! Please take care!

[Then he starts somersaulting away.]

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1/3

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it's a cold and it's a broken waluigi

waaaahhhhh

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